Chapter 2 of 4
Feedback That Lands
Describe, don't characterise. Then agree what changes.
6 min read
Describe the observable
"You spoke for thirty-one of the forty minutes" is describable. "You talk too much" is a characterisation, and characterisations are argued with rather than acted on.
Separate the three things
- What happened — observable, agreed.
- What it caused — the effect you are worried about.
- What you want instead — specific and next-week-sized.
Most difficult feedback conversations fail because all three are compressed into one accusing sentence, and the colleague has to unpick which part to respond to.
Do not stack it
One issue per conversation. A list signals that you have been collecting grievances, and the colleague will hear the length of the list rather than any item on it.
Ask before assuming a cause
"What made that happen?" often reveals a timetable clash, a missing resource, or a student you did not know about. Feedback delivered on top of a wrong assumption costs you trust that takes months to rebuild.
Practice exercises
0 of 3 complete1.Which sentence is describable rather than a characterisation?
2.Why ask "what made that happen?" before giving feedback?
3.Take a piece of feedback you owe someone and write it in three parts: what happened, what it caused, what you want instead.